6 thoughts on “Awards!

  1. Awesome awards! I really like reading your blog and the design of it. Thanks for your comments and support on mine 🙂

  2. I really love your blog! Great aspects and design. 🙂

  3. This blog may be like therapy for you. If so, have you asked yourself why that is? What if I told you that your negativity is like a contagion infecting everyone you burden with your problems? And that you may in turn encourage them to spread their negativity to others, further infecting anyone foolish enough to get close to them? (then again I doubt most people with any sort of awareness would get close to them or you). The emptiness that you may feel may be a lack of positive regard you have for yourself and thus others. If so, no amount of positive regard, or feeding on others, will fill your love tank. Also, you may not have the emotional resources to truly allow yourself to truly love anyone or anything in your dark world, so a quick fix is out of the question. Instead, why not try being brutally honest with yourself. Why not try denying yourself the external validation you seem to need. Why not try going inwards? If you go inwards, you may discover the cause of the emptiness in your heart. The cause may be a few things: like labeling things in your world good and evil; like supressing your desires (the truth) for some future date when you attain some goal you give yourself that will earn you the right to express your original desires; guilt for not living your true desires (and speaking the truth faithfully) even as you may experience this guilt as coming from failure of “secondary” desires meant to allow yourself the expression of those original desires (and the truth); guilt from not accepting your desires (and the truth) and the perversion this dynamic/compromise causes as well as the unconscious recognition of this perversion – that in everything you do you only take from others, that you are a burden, like the drivel on this website dressed up as a gift to be received despite other less noble intentions; guilt from the preconscious awareness of your darkness which forbids you from ever pushing through the depths of the wells of your heart for fear that it was you that was the “evil” one all along despite this being the very thing you need do to reach your desires (and truth); your awareness of your status as burden (perhaps you would say victim) and thus your fear of rejection; you fear of the “surface”, the “daylight”, the “truth” and “reason”. Maybe I’ve cast my net too far, mother, teacher, writer, whatever your name is, or perhaps it’s none of these? No matter how many containers you find to burden with your soul – kids, students, blogs, husbands, etc. – no container will be a perfect fit for your disembodied soul. And the more containers, names, labels, identities you horde, the less soul you have for your body (i.e. the more it hurts, the more split you’ll be, the more you’ll need to give away gifts of drivel).

    • First and foremost, I’d like to express my gratitude for this comment. Admittedly, it was initially intimidating. After the first read, I seriously considered discarding this lengthy analysis so that no other author could be subjected to it. However, upon additional reads, I came to a few conclusions that you may find particularly surprising.

      This comment is the first of its kind. I realized that these types of comments are birthed when a blog has become relevant and noteworthy. It has enough meaning and exposure to create controversy. Truly, there is no better driving force to generate thought and dialogue! When criticism comes into play, an author can be assured that there is a passionate audience driven by the significance and substance of the material.

      However, since it is my character that has come under fire, I can be assured that there is a population that regards me personally as a threat. The most noteworthy of authors have come under scrutiny. The true test of integrity is the author’s courage of conviction. I stand by my work, without the need to defend it. Furthermore, this comment helps fortify my confidence, thus I have no desire to dispute any remarks made in the attempt to defame me.

      I actually appreciate the enormous amount of time and effort that went into such thorough research and analysis. However, such blatant bullying fails to deter me in my efforts. In fact, it serves as motivation to continue my writing and put future projects into motion. Thank you for bringing the significance of this blog back to my immediate attention.

      Best,

      Lulu

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