Regret Nothing : 30 Days of Truth

Day 22 : Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.

I never regret anything. Because every little detail of your life is what made you into who you are in the end.
Drew Barrymore

As a woman with Bipolar Disorder, emotions are a quintessential part of my life.  So, naturally, it would be shocking for me to admit that regret is not an emotion that I often experience.  Difficult to believe?  I would certainly believe so, especially in a person where emotions are often extreme and feral!

I experience a certain lack of regret for a number of reasons.

I typically choose my words and actions wisely.  I have often said, “There are just some things in this life that you cannot take back.”  Once certain behaviors are out there in reality, there may be no amount of apology or reparations that can fix the damages.  However, this is not to say that I don’t make my fair share of mistakes.

I do not regret my mistakes.  Mistakes are learning experiences, not irreparable failures.  Thomas Edison once said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”  That is exactly the nature of mistakes.  They are meant to teach us lessons.  It is up to us to derive an appropriate lesson from our mistakes.

There is another saying out there about regret.  “Never regret anything, because at one time, it was exactly what you wanted.”  That is precisely it.  Often, the choices that we make seem like the best choices for us at the time.  I am a stubborn kind of person, and even if there was some kind of time machine where I could go back and warn myself, I would certainly not have heeded my own warning.

I am a firm believer in fate, and I have faith that everything happens from significant purpose to later be determined in hindsight.  You know what they say, hindsight is 20 / 20.  And when we begin to work out the course of the events in our lives, we start to see how the tapestry comes together to weave the people we have become.

I am a stronger person person for having bipolar disorder.  I am a better mother for having a son on the spectrum.  I am a better wife, because I have a husband who loves me.  I am a more determined person for having dropped out of college.  Each struggle provides me with more character and more things to build myself up.

A wealth of evidence exists in my life to prove fate to me.  Xan and I met ten and a half years ago, through my high school sweetheart.  The two of them had become college roommates, and I had grown quite close to Xan.  And throughout the years, we remained close friends, despite any falling outs we may have had.  It was like we were drawn together by some unexplainable force.  I explained a great deal of that in a series of posts entitled, “Possibility and Ascention”, “Seeds of Affection”, and “Mo Anam Cara”. After all we had went through in the five years we weren’t romantically involved, we came together after all.  And as imperfect as my marriage is, it is the most perfect, unconditional love I have ever experienced.  I have certainly found my soulmate.

Every experience has a place in the tapestry of one’s life.  Experience is an essential part of who we are.  Our successes and mistakes come to shape us into the people that we are.  And without those experiences, we might not be the people that we will eventually come to cherish.

Often, I treat everyday as if it were my last day, or potentially the final day for someone I love.  After Xan’s car accident, my eyes were wide open to the fragility of life and the certain mortality we all face.  Each day must have some peaceful conclusion, lest someone passes in the night.  A lesson has to be derived from each event, and work toward the betterment of my myself and those around me.  And each day, I attempt to say or do at least one thing to better another person’s life.  Or at least their day.

I live life to live it.  I regret nothing.  Because in the end, it is my life.

The Brilliant Blog Award

A lot of the same blog awards have been floating around lately.  I thought it was about time for some fresh meat.

The Brilliant Blog Award, hot and fresh out of the kitchen.

Of course, with every blog award, there are rules:
Da Rules

  1. Write an acceptance speech, linking back to the person who gave it to you.
  2. Write 7 things you believe in.
  3. Give the award to as many brilliant blogs as you would like to share the love.

Since I am the originator, I’ll skip to nominations:

  1. Manic Monday
  2. Seasons Change, and so have I
  3. A Canvas of the Minds
  4. Pride in Madness
  5. Mental in the Midwest
  6. Mm172001’s Blog
  7. A Little Bit Stronger
  8. Crazy in the Coconut
  9. Just a Thought
  10. witheringtulip
  11. aliceatwonderland
  12. A Clown on Fire
  13. How Do You Eat An Elephant
  14. Infinite Sadness . . . or hope?
  15. Laura Susanne Yochelson
  16. Anxiety Adventures
  17. Overcoming Depression
  18. Struggling with BPD
  19. Electra.me
  20. Disorderly Chickadee
  21. neveraloneblog
  22. Manic Muses
  23. Snippets and Glimpses
  24. Someone Fat Happened
  25. My Journey with Depression

20 Day Challenge – Day 14

7 persons/artists/both I dislike

  1. Jack Black
    I don’t know why.  He irritates me.  Every role that he’s played, he ends up this loser jackass that nobody in their right mind would be friends with.  His movies are less than interesting, and his music is even worse.  It’s not funny.  He’s not funny.  In all fairness, he makes a cute cartoon character, and The School of Rock was a good movie.
  2. Danny Devito
    This is a personal vendetta.  I had this dream once where Danny Devito was cock-blocking me.  I kept getting more and more pissed. He just didn’t get the point, and he wouldn’t go away.  So, I finally picked him up under his armpits and screamed, “Get the fuck away from me, you midget!”  Then, I chucked him across the room.  Ever since, I can’t stand to see him.
  3. Nickleback / Chad Kroger
    This should be obvious.  Douchebag who writes the same song over and over just trying to get a piece of ass.  And it encourages every other dude with no talent to go out there and try to scam on girls in the same way.  It’s sad that they still buy it!
  4. Avril Levine
    She is annoying.  Period.  Her songs sound all the same too.  It’s this poppy chick rock.  The kind of stuff she sings doesn’t belong in that genre.  Her voice is irritating.  She’s not that talented, and her fashion sense leaves a whole lot to be desired.  And I think to myself, “This is a role model for our young girls?”  Great.  Boy obsessed poser.
  5. That Douchebag in flip-flops playing his (insert instrument) on the street corner
    Very similar to Chad Kroger.  Except this guy isn’t looking for money.  He’s trolling for chicks.  This is the same guy you’ll see on every college campus with his guitar under a tree.  He only sounds good because he’s been practicing the same three chords for seven years.  Ask him to play Free Bird.  I bet he doesn’t know it.  Ask him to play Free Falling.  He does.
  6. Tom Cruise
    I am not into holding a wife hostage with Scientology.  It’s creepy.
  7. Christian Bale
    I’ve heard that this guy is a major A-hole.  Sure, he’s nice to look at.  But, I think the Batman thing isn’t really just a character for him.

More Love Than Your Blog Has Room For

This morning, per the rules, I nominated five blogs for the “I Love Your Blog” award.  I was a little antsy about only nominating five.  And after some thought (and a few words from a special someone), I have determined that five is simply not going to do.  It is not enough to spread the massive amount of love that I have around to my fellow bloggers.

I Love Your Blog award:

The Rules:

  1. Thank the person who nominated you:
  2. Tell your followers why you started a blog and why you keep doing it:
  3. Describe a usual day in your life:
  4. What was your best collaboration?
  5. What was your worst collaboration?

And the nominees are:

  1. Melancholy Manic Mouse:  PAZ, it’s been an honor and my pleasure to blog with you.  You are much deserving of this award.  Believe me, just because I’m not commenting sometimes doesn’t mean I’m not reading.  I am blessed to have such open ears and hearts.
  2. Manic Monday:  Monday, my lovely!  You have become very near and dear to me.  Your blog is so very important to the blogging community, and especially to me.  You have become important to me on a personal level, and I’m so glad that we could become friends.  Thank you for all of your guidance, understanding, patience, and affection you have shown me throughout the last year.
  3. Hello Sailor: HS, you are so raw and real on your blog.  Your writing is great, and it really comes from the heart.  I’m glad to be reading and keeping up with you.  I’m even more glad to be a part of the mental health blogging community with you.
  4. Disorderly Chickadee:  Dr. Chickadee, or more commonly known as DeeDee, you are absolutely inspiring to me.  You have gone the full mile, and you have an amazing life.  You have a wonderful mister, a PhD (I mean, WOW!), and a beautiful mind.  You are talented, intelligent, and obviously well educated, but also well educated in mental health.  I appreciate that the most.  Your comments are always welcome and well thought out.  Thank you for giving me something to strive for.
  5. Alice at Wonderland: I know we are more recently acquainted, but I wanted to express how much I thoroughly enjoy your blog and your interactions.  I am thrilled with your participation in Canvas, and want to give you a thank you for coming on board in my absence.
  6. Laments and Lullabies: Sara, awesome, amazing Sara.  You always have something interesting, fun, irrelevant, and/or distracting to say.  No, seriously, you are a fun gal.  You help to remind me that there is fun in dysfunction.  And I appreciate that so much.
  7. Take a Ride on My Mood Swing:  Morgue, we have exchanged so much over the past year.  I do regret my extended absence, as I know you had an extended one too.  I have always been grateful for your raw and soulful rants, brutal honesty, and gratuitous swearing.  Sometimes, you gave me the courage to let things come out of my head that would have otherwise rotted.  Thank you.
  8. A Clown on Fire: To whom it may concern… just joking!  To The Ringmaster, whichever entity, Eric or Le Clown I am speaking with, I am so happy we have had an exchange.  You are an incredible husband to a lovely woman with bipolar disorder, and you have helped me see on the other side of the fence immensely.  I am proud to have helped review “The Rage”.  And I am also proud to be an author on a featured blog.  Thank you for your shameless promotions of Canvas, and thank you for generally existing.
  9. Finding Finn: Finn, I actually hate your blog, but I didn’t want to leave you out, lest you kill yourself.  No, I’m really just kidding!  You have been a good and loyal friend to me for years.  Your mind is amusing, but it’s also thoughtful.  I do hope that you take the time to share with the world some more.  You really have something going, and I have a lot of faith in your blog to be giving you this award, you know.
  10. Just a Thought:  Truthfully, I don’t always know what to say.  There are no comments.  There was this one time where I seriously was looking for the Facebook like button.  I mean, I know there’s a like button, but I was looking for the Facebook one.  I don’t know why.  That’s what I like about it.  It is inspirational in a different way.  It gets my other senses going, besides the brain gnawing.  It’s lovely, and deserving of this award.

Blog for Mental Health 2012 : Official Blogroll Summons

Hey mental health bloggers!

So, I figured out how to put a blogroll together, finally.  I’m about to put the Blog for Mental Health 2012 Official Blogroll together, and I need to know who has pledged so far.  I know there are a number of people.  Some of you may not be aware of Blog for Mental Health 2012, because maybe you’re newer.  Click the link, or peep the badge on Pendulum’s site.

Don’t be fooled by this badge:

That one doesn’t belong to us.  In fact, as you can see by the date, this badge came well after our New Years pledge to blog for mental health for the entire year, instead of just one day.

No, our badge is different and shows a commitment to blog for mental health awareness throughout an entire year, faithfully.

This is the badge that belongs to us.  If you want to participate, I’m officially sponsoring you right now.  Click the image to go to the blog page for Blog for Mental Health 2012’s rules and terms of use.  I’m more than happy to spread mental health awareness by lending my support to other bloggers and inspiring others to come forward.

I am proud of all of the bloggers that have already taken the pledge, and am more than happy to invite others to take it as well.  It’s still 2012; you can still join!

So, if you want on the blogroll, leave me a comment below, something to the effect of, “I have the badge” and “I made the post” or “I want in”.  Whatever, just something to know that you’re in on it.

Thanks!

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20 Day Challenge – Day 2

19 Favorite Quotes:

  1. I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best. – Marilyn Monroe

  2. You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching, Love like you’ll never be hurt,
    Sing like there’s nobody listening,
    And live like it’s heaven on earth. – William W. Purkey
  3. Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results. – Albert Einstein

  4. I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together. – Marilyn Monroe
  5. Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans. – John Lennon

  6. If you don’t stand for something you will fall for anything. – Malcolm X
  7. Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company. – Mark Twain

  8. Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it’s better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring. – Marilyn Monroe
  9. The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. – Mark Twain

  10. Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t. – Mark Twain
  11. I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it. – Mark Twain
  12. Life is short, Break the Rules.
    Forgive quickly, Kiss SLOWLY.
    Love truly. Laugh uncontrollably
    And never regret ANYTHING
    That makes you smile. – Mark Twain
  13. If you can’t explain it to a six year old, you don’t understand it yourself. – Albert Einstein
  14. You never fail until you stop trying. – Albert Einstein
  15. When you trip over love, it is easy to get up. But when you fall in love, it is impossible to stand again. – Albert Einstein
  16. Out of all the things I have lost, I miss my mind the most. – Mark Twain
  17. I must be willing to give up what I am in order to become what I will be. – Albert Einstein
  18. Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed. – Albert Einstein
  19. A lady came up to me one day and said ‘Sir! You are drunk’, to which I replied ‘I am drunk today madam, and tomorrow I shall be sober but you will still be ugly. – Winston Churchill